From Facebook: 25 Things About Me

1. When I was little, a friend and I were wrestling and he pushed me down onto a bee. It stung me and the pain scarred me for life. I’m still deathly afraid of bees.

2. I started a blog last year but I haven’t posted there since August 7th.

3. The first computer program I ever wrote was on my Commodore 64. I saved it to a cassette tape. Yes, before there were disk drives, we used tapes. No, I’m not kidding.

4. The towels in our linen closet have to all be folded the same way and have the creases facing me… because Heidi says so.

5. I like to drive really fast, but if I’m riding with you and you go over 60 or so I get nervous. This is also why I’ll probably ask you if I can drive.

6. The last time I was in a fight was in the 6th grade. I won by throwing the kid into a wall (he wasn’t hurt).

7. I once hosted a party that had my house so full of people, I had to go out the back door in order to speak with the police.

8. The reason the police came to my house that night? The number of parked cars in the neighborhood was creating a traffic hazard. True story. Apparently there wasn’t a place to park within a half-mile of my house.

9. Since I got a subscription for Christmas in 1989, I have read every issue of the magazine Sports Illustrated.

10. No one ever answered the door naked, but I saw plenty of weird things in my time as a pizza delivery guy. The worst was probably the house where the entire place was covered in ankle deep garbage… and there were 2 kids were playing on the floor.

11. My chocolate chip cookies are better than yours or your mom’s. I guarantee it.

12. One of my favorite things in this world is karaoke! So if I ever ask you to go, please say yes.

13. I’d rather eat a chicken sandwich than a burger. Well… a FRIED chicken sandwich. And preferably a really spicy one.

14. My older brother is on TV… a lot. I doubt you’ve ever seen him though unless you’re into the stock market.

15. I had a paper route for several years when I was younger. If you want to improve the character of your children (or future children) you should make them work for their money, and believe me, a paper route is work.

16. Being left-handed is alright, but some things are just a pain. Take scissors for example… most of you “righties” would never know this, but it’s VERY difficult for a left handed person to cut straight with a regular pair of scissors. Knives too!

17. I’m a terrible flyer. Not “run off the plane screaming about how we’re all going to die” bad, but pretty bad. If you ever run into me at the airport there’s a very good chance that I’ll be in the bar having a drink or two to calm my nerves.

18. To my knowledge, I have never broken a bone in my body. And yes, I DID drink a lot of milk when I was a kid. Coincidence?

19. I never once drank while I was in high school.

20. Speaking of drinking, the first beer that I tried and liked was Black Butte Porter. Weird, right? I guess I’ve been a beer snob from the very beginning.

21. If I’ve ever crashed at your place you already know this, but I always sleep with a fan on in the room.

22. I don’t know what silence sounds like. I’ve had tinnitus as long as I can remember. That’s also why I sleep with the aforementioned fan on.

23. I love that I’m well educated and know how to spell words like aforementioned.

24. One of my proudest moments was when I received my 2-gallon pin from the Red Cross.

25. It took me well over almost 90 minutes to come up with this list. I think I might have put a little too much effort into this…

 

Any lolcatz fans out there?

I found this picture out on the interwebs and I was thinking it would make a good lolcatz picture. However, my LOLspeak skills are not up to snuff.

So, I turn to you, oh Great Hive Mind, to help inspire me…

 

Worst “expert” advice ever.

So, I’m thinking this might be the most pathetic excuse for an expert article of all time.

absolute idiocy

If he all of the sudden ditches his old khakis and sweats for something more stylish, it might be because he is trying to look his best for a new woman.

So now that I’m finally responding to all those not-so-subtle hints about my wardrobe, I must have a girlfriend. Huh. Solid advice there Doctor Laura (but not THAT Doctor Laura).

Additionally, if he spends more time on the computer, or tries to hide the screen he was looking at when you walk in the room, this is a good indicator that he might be philandering via the worldwide web.

Um… yeah. Or maybe, he’s just embarrassed that your about to catch him checking his auctions one last time.

Is this why women can seem so crazy to men sometimes? Because you read garbage like this and take it to heart?

 

So, I did a 10K.

No, really. I did!

See?

Here’s a description of the race: pure pain.

It was a beautiful course and totally worth it, but the “1600 feet of vertical gain” is no lie. I still can’t quite believe I did it. My quads are still sore.

As you can probably guess, most of the guys in the race were half my size and quite a bit faster than me… but that’s okay. They were my secret source of motivation. Every time I saw some super fit dude fly by me I would just think “Let’s strap an extra 120 or 140 pounds on you and see how you do”. That’s what kept me going.

Next time, I’m thinking a 5K will be just fine.

 

Heading out this weekend.

So, Heidi and I will be heading out to the Gorge Games this weekend (on the VIP pass natch, I LOVE my job) in Hood River. In addition to all the sports events, there will be a pretty cool sounding festival with live music.

If you’re in the mood, you should head on up there. Should be a good time! If I can hit up an internet cafe, I’ll try and post something about the party.

Cheers internet!

 

What’s your morning crutch?

If you are anything like me (since you are the kind of person who reads blogs, it’s not much of a stretch to say you are like me), then you’re not a morning person.

For most Americans, that means you drink coffee.

I’ve never developed a taste for that disgusting filth beverage, so at the office that means no free caffeine for me. I mean they provide tea which I enjoy, but come on. Is tea really going to do the job when you’re running on 4 hours of sleep?

Luckily, I discovered Rockstar Juiced. AKA “manna from heaven”, this drink has gotten me through many a tough day at work. Why is it so great?

• NO POISON HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP.
• Instead, it’s sweetened with fruit juice, in this case a blend of orange, mango and passion fruit.
• It doesn’t have that revolting “energy drink” taste like Red Bull or regular Rockstar.
• It actually lists how much caffeine it has right on the can. YAY! Now I can avoid an overdose and trip to the ER.

What’s your wake up drink of choice? And be honest. Don’t tell me about your organic, green, free-trade oolong tea if you’re really drinking Starbuck’s every morning.

 

Writing: it’s kind of intimidating

So, I know that it’s just a blog post and I’m just telling a story from my childhood or whatever… but it’s still hard to put myself out there like that.

Why?

Well, writing is sort of a thing in our family. Dad is a respected author in government agency circles. Oh yeah, then there’s this guy.

Now Dane’s a fellow computer geek, so you’d think I could hang with him, right? But then you see how clever he can be when he makes the time to write. Then, to top it off, he goes and marries yet another great writer who will someday be more famous then all of us.

So, even though it’s just a fun (and yet tragic) story about dating in sixth grade, I have a hard time thinking it’s good enough. But the funny thing is that I want to do it again.

 

Does this mean I’m a published author?

My Piece for Back Fence PDX

What an interesting feeling… like being proud and yet embarrassed all at once.

Internet, let me ponder this for a little while and I’ll write more, I promise.

 

Please help me BSG fans. I’m stuck…

So, first of all, let me apologize for not posting or responding to comments the last few days. I’ll use the “I’m still new to this blogging thing and not used to posting everyday” excuse this time. I believe that leaves me with the “I caught the worst flu in the history of man and couldn’t get out of bed” and “I had to fly to [insert small town] for a family thing and they didn’t have wi-fi” cards for future downtimes.

Anyway, on to my topic… So I’m completely stuck early on in season 3. Heidi and I have been Netflixing our way through the show and loving it the whole time. But we’ve watched the first two episodes of season 3 and I seriously do NOT want to watch any more.

I mean, could the show BE more depressing? BTW, I’m going to talk a little bit about the plot, so if you’re still new to the show like me, consider this your SPOILER WARNING.

First of all, the show is trapped on this nasty, little planet along with all the humans. Why? WHY?!? I don’t watch BSG to get a replay of CNN Nightly News! I’m already tired of suicide bombings and everyone being tortured. I get it. You’re topical. Yay for you.

Could we bring back the fun already? This is an OUTER SPACE show. I’m glad I wasn’t watching this as they were released. I probably wouldn’t have come back for next week’s episode.

So please, help convince me to carry on and get through this mess. Convince me it’s worth it. Tell me Starbuck is going to gut this pretty little devil child if you have to (though I’d prefer if you could leave me SOME surprises), but help me get over this hump and back into what was, until this point, the best show on television.

 

From the Email Archives of Nels and Heidi

From: Nels Hesseldahl
Sent: Thursday, February 15, 2007 11:21 AM
To: Heidi Hesseldahl
Subject: Re: Good Morning

I may have some fact-checking to do in my memory box to make sure… but, as far as I can remember, that is the most wonderful and romantic thing anyone has ever written or said about me.

Thank you for that.

I may have to start a blog just so I can let other people read what might be the best love note ever. If more couples would say things like that, there would be a lot more happy people in this world.

I love you too, Heidi.

On 2/15/07, Heidi Hesseldahl wrote:

Well, today is Thursday.

It’s yet another day in the week. Nothing special, right? That’s where you’re wrong.

Today is Thursday. Today is a day in which I love my husband more than I ever have. My husband, Nels, is the most intelligent, sweet, loving, caring and outgoing person I know. He continually amazes me with his tenderness, love and compassion for all that our relationship entails. My husband loves the little things in life as well as the big things. He sees the big picture well but has the patience to walk through the little things with me. Today I love my husband more than ever before because he is all things good. He is happy, he is friendly, he is caring, and he is strong. He is boisterous, he is fun, he is sexy and he is mine. With all those qualities, he could woo any woman in this world. But he wooed me. Today is Thursday, not just another day. Today I love my husband more than ever before because I realize how much he loves me. I love you, Nels.

Mrs. Heidi Hesseldahl